Want to Live a Long Life?

Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may be well with you in the land which your God is giving you. ---Deuteronomy 5:16

My parents did the best they could raising four children in the 50’s and 60’s. They made many good choices and some bad choices. Yet, they are the parents that I was born to and grew up under their direction. Now, I have had the privilege to being a parent myself and found the task was not an easy one. We had a lot of trials and errors with the whole process.

We aren’t given a booklet on How to Raise Your Child when you walk out of the hospital with that tiny infant in your arms. As our parents raised us, we raise our children. We either modeled their behavior and responses or we were so determined NOT to be like them that we did just the opposite. Regardless, child-rearing is the most difficult job we have to do. It is one of great responsibility for we are raising the future.

Since I am writing on Why We Get Sick, I just wanted to preface the fact that parenting is a very challenging and difficult job. When we grow up, we may find ourselves harboring resentments, bitterness and even unforgiveness toward our parents because of the conditions, situations or behaviors we were raised under.

Honoring our father and mother is commanded by God. Look for yourself in Deuteronomy 5:16. We may find that a very difficult task, I know I did several years ago. When I realized that to please God and not disobey (which is sin) I had to deal with feelings I had toward my father that were not honoring. Where do we start with feelings that we can hardly verbalize? My father wasn’t abusive – he was just absent. Absent in mind and physically. He raised us as he was raised, with a corrective hand and stern voice. He wanted absolute obedience and did not tolerate childish ways. Then, he was gone most of the time working so he never got involved with our lives. I can never remember a time that he held me on his lap or hugged me and told me he loved me.

As an adult, I determined that our children would enjoy childhood and we had a great time together. But when this verse was brought to my attention, I realized that I had to deal with wounds that I only covered over with a bandaid. I couldn’t work through my feelings on my own, but I couldn’t share with anyone but my husband and even that was hard. My issue seemed so trivial, but yet so profound. These unspoken feelings affected my relationship with my father greatly. We only had a superficial relationship.

I finally went to my Lord with a cry for help. I wanted to be healed, but didn’t know how to begin. It began with a sermon that seemed directed toward me. I found out how much fathers carry authority in the spirit realm. Regardless of whom they are or what they do, they are still the authority figure…in the spirit if they are born again. I experienced a dawn of enlightenment as I realized that my father had raised me in all the light he had with his father as a role model. I started to look at him with different eyes. Then the Lord quickly gave me a plan, which I implemented quickly. Needless to say, as I publicly honored my father with a healed heart, our love relationship was born. It wasn’t easy, but it was definitely worth it. We now have a bond that is one of love and honor.

No one knows the pain you may be experiencing as a result of parenting faux pas, but God does. Think of this, God loves our parents so very much He can forgive them of their past sins. So can you. Ask God to forgive your trespasses as you forgive those who trespass against you. (Matt. 6:12) Then request God to help you to find honor in your parent or parents and a way that you can demonstrate honor. When you do that, you have just cleared a blockage in your spirit for the Lord to do great and mighty things in you and through you. AND you will live a longer life!

Confession: I have had great difficulty in honoring my parents, but today I see how important it is to address this area in my life. I will seek the Lord for wisdom and an action plan that will bring honor to my life and help me to honor my parents.